Merry Deathmas

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Merry Deathmas

Oh…and we thought Krampus was the evil one… (Photo courtesy of Pixabay, Picture credits to NickyPe).

Oh…and we thought Krampus was the evil one… (Photo courtesy of Pixabay, Picture credits to NickyPe).

Photo courtesy of Pixabay, photo credits to NickyPe)

Oh…and we thought Krampus was the evil one… (Photo courtesy of Pixabay, Picture credits to NickyPe).

Photo courtesy of Pixabay, photo credits to NickyPe)

Photo courtesy of Pixabay, photo credits to NickyPe)

Oh…and we thought Krampus was the evil one… (Photo courtesy of Pixabay, Picture credits to NickyPe).

December 25, Blightton County Prison, 12:00 P.M.

“We found him Gary. I’ve already booked him and sent him into his cell. I put him in Cell 209 with Jay Gallager,” said detective Warran, walking into the prison office.

“Great! He is going to be put away for a long time. He deserves it for what he has done,” said Gary, an officer who worked on the case.

– Cell 209 –

“Wow, I thought you were supposed to be innocent. What will the kids do for Christmas now? Christmas is over, there is no Joy without you,” said Jay Gallager.

“Look kid, I don’t want to talk, in fact just leave me alone and I won’t bother you ever. If I have to spend the rest of my life in here, it is going to be in peace,” said Nick Claus.

“Okay fine, but can you at least tell me what you are in for first,” sighed Jay.

“Alright fine. Here goes…It all started about 2 months ago. I was happy and jolly as usual, when I got a sixth sense that something was wrong. All of a sudden, Jolly, one of my elves, wobbled into my room, where I was sitting with my wife Mary and told me about some teenagers that were going around in Blightton ruining the Christmas spirit by telling little children that Santa is not real. I was furious, so I started plotting my revenge almost immediately. It was going to happen on Christmas morning. That was the perfect time to do it, everyone would be sleeping and there would be no one to witness what I was going to do. Christmas Eve finally came around and I had told Mary the plan. She knew that I would not get away with it by myself, so she insisted that she was going to come along and help me. After she talked me into letting her come, we started making our rounds, house-to-house, city-to-city, country-to-country. We left Blightton as the last town of our journey.”

“We started with Bryson Jacob. We crept into his house quietly, making sure not to make any sound at all. We traveled through the living room, up the stairs, and straight into his bedroom. The room carried a teenage boy odor. It smelled like he hadn’t showered in days, there were clothes all over the floor, and the window curtains were open so the thick snow falling from the sky was visible. Jolly jumped onto his bed and slapped him in the face, waking him up from his sleep. ‘Wha-Wha- what are you doing? You aren’t re-’ he began.”

“Without my instruction, Mary grabbed Bryson by his arm and shoved him to the floor. We proceeded to tie him to the chair that was sitting at the desk in the corner of the room. Mary then sharpened the dull candy cane that she brought to assist us. She handed it to me and I explained to Bryson how obtuse he had been telling everyone that good ol’ Saint Nick isn’t real.”

“‘This is fake. You are a crazy person whose parents never explained to you that Santa is a fraud, myth, phony! You need a life!’ he screamed at me.”

“I lifted the sharpened candy cane and plunged it into the kid’s leg. I pulled it out and then plunged it into his chest. He was gone. I grabbed his body and toted it all the way to the town square plaza, so that when everyone woke up they would see what had happened to Bryson. We weren’t done though, we needed to get our revenge on everyone else that had uttered the words ‘Santa isn’t real.’ We snuck into every other teens house that night and gave them the same fate as Bryson Jacobs.”

“The snow all over the town was stained red and there was blood all over me, we had to get out of sight because the time was closing in on 9:00 a.m. We jumped onto the sleigh but Rudolph refused to move. He knew we had done something bad and he didn’t want us to get away with it, so we decided to turn ourselves in. We walked to the police station and explained what happened, now I am here with you,” explained Nick.

“Wow…I thought you were supposed to be the nicest man to ever live. Who knew Santa, Mrs. Claus, and your little elf helpers were all so evil. You are sick!”

“I was fed up. I couldn’t take it anymore. I’m so tired of being so jolly all the time. Anyway, now you know the story, so leave me alone.”

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