High School Heartaches and Heartbreaks



Many high school relationships end in heartbreak due to a lack of communication and boundaries.

High school. A time period full of learning, laughing, and sometimes even crying. It’s where friendships are made, photos are taken, and sometimes it’s even a place where romances blossom. 


During freshman year, the wise seniors tell the freshmen how dating their first year of high school is not optimal and honestly, they aren’t wrong. According to Brandon Gaille, “Less than 2% of all marriages are actually to a high school sweetheart.” Many people find their significant other later on in life, but this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to find that special person in high school. So, why don’t most high school relationships last?


Senior at Brashier Middle College, Rachel Van Hook says, “Most high school couples don’t communicate well and therefore have issues in their relationship in the long run.” One major problem that high school relationships face is the lack of maturity. To say that high schoolers know everything about romance and the world around them would be simply ignorant. Most high school students are still trying to figure out not only the world around them but, also, who they are as a person.


During high school, many teenagers are faced with hormonal issues that come with getting older. Whether this is mood swings or unwanted lust, these issues can lead to problems in a relationship. One issue that arises is that one person in the relationship might want to take the relationship to the next level, physically, while the other is content with where they are. The article “Teenage Hormones & Sexuality” goes into detail on how hormones affect both females and males. The article states, “Teen hormones affect teenagers’ moods, emotions, and impulses as well as their body…Teens become much more interested in sex, sometimes to the point of obsession, as teen hormones kick into gear” (“Teenage Hormones & Sexuality”).


While some teenagers can control their urges and shut out temptations, others have a hard time doing so. Lust can be a big problem for some teenagers and sometimes being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to “get physical” can mean cheating on them with someone who does. Senior Bailee Hall says, “Cheating is a huge problem in high school. Many high schoolers don’t take their relationship seriously and end up cheating on their partner and hurting them.” In many situations, cheating can lead to an automatic break up and a broken heart. 


For any relationship to work, boundaries have to be established. A major flaw in many high school relationships is that people forget to talk to each other. They forget to tell each other what makes them uncomfortable and what “crossing a boundary” is for them. Being on the same page is key in a successful relationship. Senior Joseph Adams says that “not knowing the person’s reasons for being in the relationship can be a problem.” Many teenagers have good intentions and they want their relationship to work out but some are just in it to experiment and have fun. While having fun is good, not every moment is going to be rainbows and sunshine. 


Relationships take work. Whether it be a friendship, a romantic relationship, or a family relationship, people can’t be lazy and expect their relationships to bloom. So…how do people make high school relationships work?


Barton Goldsmith, a therapist and writer, states in his article “8 Ways to Make Your Relationship Work Better”, “Every successful relationship needs the care and nurturing of two committed adults giving to each other in a way that creates a mutually beneficial connection.” Even though the main focus in this article is about high school relationships, this quote still applies. To make a high school relationship work, there needs to be communication, boundaries, honesty, interdependence, and so much more. 


During high school, kids turn into young adults and get to experience some things that adults have to face daily. High school is a time of learning what to do and not to do in certain situations. When it comes to teenage relationships, many don’t last because of lack of maturity, bad communication skills, and hormones. There are those few that do last, though. Some people can figure out how to communicate with their significant other during high school and they end up making it. A good relationship takes time and care, just like a friendship. If more people can put in the effort to set boundaries and communicate, then maybe more would make it.